Friday, February 8, 2008

CORA'S BREAKFAST & LUNCH
(277 Wellington St. W.)

chezcora.com


THE ROCK N' ROLL PORNOGRAPHERS: Chris & Kevin

RATINGS:
FOOD: 3+
PRICE: 2+
SERVICE: 4
AMBIANCE: 1


ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: YES
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: YES
BOOTHS: YES
OPEN-KITCHEN: YES

What do you do when your winter is well on it's way to becoming one of discontent, it's a wednesday afternoon with jack shit to do at work and the only sensible thoughts to cross your mind are in the form of bacon and eggs? Call up Kevin, roll on down to Cora's Breakfast & Lunch, steps from the corner of Wellington and Blue Jays Way and discuss dirty birds and sea turtles, how incredibly lame Tattoo Rock Parlour is, possible techniques for shooting the knees out of your jeans with a shotgun, the night of inevitable debauchery that lies ahead and how shitty the Blackberry Pearl's camera is. (Note the photos in question; however it may have been the sheer paleness of Kevin's skin that blinded the lens.)

BACON N' EGGS:
2 eggs
bacon or sausage
toast
hash browns
$5.65+tx.
Add:
sausage (1.50)


THE FOOD: Cora's food was better than five vicodin, a cold beer and a hot shower. I broke my strictly bacon and eggs rule this time around and opted for a few bangers. Good bacon. Good hashbrowns. Good marble rye. Shitty coffee. Good eggs. I'm out.
Kevin Side-Note: Their sausages suck. They're fuckin' soggy. Fuck.
Chris Side-Note: They have Molson Dry!

THE PRICE: I've written something quasi clever (or so I tell myself) for this exact same price range approximately 9 times over (approximately). Go read one of those. I'm not a fucking Z6000 Writing Robot programmed to expel witty quips at the push of a button. Jeez.

THE SERVICE: As the pop princess and ever articulate Avril Lavigne once said (aside from "I'm with a sk8er boi, I said see ya later boy"), "Fa fa fa, fast fast fast fast". Cora's service was not only that on this particular day, but the server was on the ball from sitting down to settling up. Quick with the drinks. Quick with the grub. Quick with the refills. All with a smile. Word to his moms.

THE AMBIANCE: Vomiting (also called throwing up or emesis) is the forceful expulsion of the contents of one's stomach through the mouth and sometimes the nose. Vomiting may result from many causes, ranging from gastritis or poisoning to elevated intracranial pressure or Cora's interior decor. A mishmash of what I'd call country kitchen, daycare and french design (the Québécois kind...not the good kind). Cora's is far from easy on the eyes or très tocard as they might say in it's city of origin.
Kevin Side-Note: It's alot nicer in the summer when the garage doors open.

Seeing as the francophone population aren't particularly known for their design sense as much as they are their taste in food, it's not hard to believe this place originated in La Belle Province. However being a wretched eyesore, the food and service amply make up for the fact that you'll want to gouge your eyes out with your stirring spoon. My advice; wait till the summer, sit on the patio and cut out the interior decor completely.

No comments: